On a night like tonight an unseasonably warm November night my ipod is set on random in my car and it plays all the right songs like the ghost in the machine. And as I drive around cats seem to be everywhere boldly crossing streets knowing its safe to cross but also knowing I’m looking at them – they stop and turn in acknowledgment. A kind of energy in the air that suggests that maybe you really have no control over how things play out. Where normally I would have felt awkward and displaced but instead I feel ok and confident and out of the blue a woman walks towards me and gives me a kiss on the cheek with a cat like acknowledgment.

Topanga home office

When I lived in Topanga Canyon my neighbor Armeda had this old horse she kept in a stable across from my cabin. I remember weekday afternoons looking out the window and the horse seemed to be staring at me. I could feel his presence – that distinctive “horse” smell and he’s make noises every so often.  and I would be writing street marketing reports in my little home office listening to Stereolab or Tortoise or whatever…

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moods

I think it is interesting how to a certain degree your moods dictate your reality. I mean if you’re in a good mood, things that might be troubling you don’t seem so bad. You feel strong like you can handle what ever adversity comes your way. Old friends call out of the blue. Little kids smile at you as you are walking by.  But when you’re in a bad mood you seem helpless and everything you do seems pointless and you start second guessing everything. You burn your food and it seems like everyone on the freeway is out to get you.    

But it usually boils down to whatever mood you’re in or how the collective ‘mood’ of the stars and planets are coexisting with you at that time. Or maybe it’s something as basic as what you ate for breakfast or how much exercise you’ve been getting.

chronic tech check

Ever since I got back from my trip I’ve been habitual y checking my email at work logging on to myspace to see if anyone messaged me or made a comment, checking my phone to see if anyone texted me. Why am i doing this? guess I’m lonely.

Right now I running a bath and got the cheesy 70′s cable radio station on. Later I’m gonna head out to the Short Stop with the buddys.

lyrics in my head right now. . .

Song: Knock Yourself Out
Artist: Jon Brion
Album: I Heart Huckabees (2004)
Thank You to Michele for the corrections!

It’s something unattainable
That you can’t live without
And now the unexplainable
Has you riddled with doubt

Things begin Things decay
And you’ve gotta find a way
To be ok
But it you want to spend the day
Wond’ring what it’s all about
Go and knock yourself out

Why were put in this mess
Is anybody’s guess
It might be a test or it might not be anything
You need to worry about
But if you’re still in doubt
Go and knock yourself out

Song: Over Our Heads
Artist: Jon Brion
Album: I Heart Huckabees (2004)

So what you’re never understood?
Big deal you’re doomed to die
Oh, oh
Nothing ever lasts
It all gets torn to shreds
If something’s ever lasting
It’s over our heads
It’s over our heads

Think your troubles are so serious
Well one day you’ll be so…long gone
Cause nothing ever lasts
It all gets torn to shreds
If something’s ever lasting
It’s over our heads
It’s over our heads
It’s over our heads

ex’s in cyberspace

Well, I think I’m supposed to have lunch tomorrow with an ex girlfriend. She contacted me on My Space. Actually she’s the third ex girl friend to do that. In fact now that I think of it my brothers ex wife too. It’s interesting how MySpace and “cyber space” in general prevents one from truly separating from their former lover. I was reading an article in the WSJ about this where, people will be reminded of their ex months later when an old email pops up or that some people scour sites like theknot.com to see if their ex’s are married yet. And now with a little detective work you can find most anything about someone.